Orgasm and you


I just had to comment on a magazine cover I saw recently. It had yet *another* article about orgasms. Every time I go to the store and I am standing at the checkout I see women's magazine, each with its own headline screaming at me about Orgasms. The ever Mighty Orgasm, the thing humanity seems to worship these days. It is the subject of articles left and right promising orgasms that are:

Well in response to orgasmania, I thought my own page devoted to this phenomenon was in order. Here are headlines I made up, basically to poke fun at the reliance of magazines on the consumer buying anything that says, "orgasm" on it.

"Have an Orgasm that Will make Your eyes Bleed in only 32 Steps!"
"Want To Be In a Coma? Try our plan for an awesome Orgasm!"
"Ever get bored standing in checkout lines reading magazine covers? Why not Orgasm Instead! We'll tell you how!"
"Make people spontaneously Orgasm! Be the life of the party!"
"Death By Orgasm? Read How!"
"Have No Life? Read Women's Magazines learning useless facts about Orgasms!"
"Someone Stole My Orgasm! one woman's gut wrenching tale
"How my Orgasm save a nursing home from being closed!"
"Work Getting you down? Orgasm!"
"Want to shed extra pounds? Our plan for continuous orgasms may be right for you!"
"Tired of Being called a prude because you don't sit at home having orgasms all day? Well now you CAN!"
"Who needs a life? Orgasm today!"
"Get an equity loan on your orgasm!"
"Don't just get Happy. Happy is for wimps and prudes. Have an orgasm!"
"ORGASM! It's free! (until we find a way to charge you for it)
"Kids? Family values? A Good marriage? Church? Who needs those when you can ORGASM!"
"Oops! Was that YOUR orgasm?" How one woman was terribly confused
"Beware of men at your door dressed as your Orgasm! They might be crooks!"
"Halloween costumes dull and boring? Dress as an orgasm using only crepe paper and mayonaisse!"


Faith| Family | Poetry | Mummery | Graphics | Misc. | Updates | Links | Mystic Dreams Main


Everything written here is my work unless otherwise noted, so dont even think about stealing or "borrowing" it without permission. Thanks. All writings this page � 1998 Pomeranc All Rights Reserved